Saturday, August 21, 2021

Narcissism, part 1: where I'm coming from

 I don't follow celebrity. 

I admire some of them, and I can get a bit obsessive about them, but eventually I get my fill and move on. I don't follow them in the modern media sense. I don't follow them on Twitter, or IG or FB or YouTube, or watch every interviews, see every photos and videos, tv series, etc. I find them or their lives ridiculous. However, since I am online often, some information do leak and leach into my attention. 

I do watch the more intellectual and/or big budget movies and interesting and gritty tv series. 

Some actors and stars in these things are exceptionally talented, extremely good looking, and also living charmed lives. Some people are so lucky. When it rains, it pours. 

I have the same attitude to the most well-known royals in the contemporary society. 

Enter Harry and Meghan.

Who doesn't know of Harry? 

I had watched a couple of seasons of Suits because of the two main men, so I know of Meghan. I found her pretty. I can't remember having an opinion on her acting abilities. I was never interested enough to google her. 

When I heard them dating, the brain acknowledged the information, and filed it under trivial. 

Then people went gaga over their engagement interview. The giggling and gushing had reached a point that I decided to see for myself. 

At the onset, I found it cringey. Too much hand-holding, like kindergartens who suffered separation anxiety, but gratefully found each other in the first few days of school. And too much smiling, like teenagers who haven't learned to temper their emotions. 

I'm a dour person, and I am not particularly romantic. 

When she was asked about the engagement ring, she hid her face. Up until then, even when I thought them ridiculous, I still liked them. But seeing her reaction to the question, I thought "this bitch does not like the ring. She couldn't even pretend to align her words with her actions in front of an all-seeing camera." 

I have learned later on, after she trashed the royals in the Harpo interview, that she modified the ring. Indeed, a contradiction to her pronouncement during the engagement interview, "It's beautiful, and he designed it. It's incredible."

After the wedding ceremony, people went gaga again. However, my reaction was, "No one stopped the stupid farce? What could the royals be thinking?" And again, I watched to see what the hoopla was all about. And again, I found things that raised my ignorant brows. 

She walked alone. Where are her parents? Family? Friends? Is this a declaration of independent modern woman?

But then, Prince Charles walked her the second half of the way. Whatever the first part of the march to the altar was, the second part was definitely a study in contradiction.  

Then nothing reached me until YouTube blew up with negative reactions about their Harpo interview. Take note, that at this point I haven't followed any individual or celebrity. It was all educational, news, and serious opinions channels. But, it was the negative comments I'd gotten. 

And it became a rabbit hole. I'd read old news, see old videos, everything I could find about them and I listened to almost all opinions until the narcissist one became the predominant opinion of her. 

It became an endless chase on narcissism articles and YouTube videos. 

Eventually, I came upon Dr. Ramani. It was, still is, very informative. And after resisting for several weeks because I thought the channel would be voiced by a robot who would include reading the periods, but as dots, I capitulated. 

And I found treasure. It's the HG Tudor in YouTube.

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