Mga Kwentong Barbero

There is a popular belief that we tell our barbers everything. In barber shops everything and everyone are discussed and in some areas of the world barber shops are even the primary sources of news, not just gossips. Maybe it’s about trust, if you can trust your neck to a person with a sharp scissor why not your secrets, eh? Try to watch the old Johnny Depp movie Sweeney Todd if you do not agree with me.

It is the time of the year to have my hair cut but I’ve been putting it off. I’m afraid to lie to my barber again. Not that I have a regular barber but the thought of telling tall tales to such nice people with sharp scissors make me wary. The lie I usually tell the barber is the reason for my not so secret life. It’s not so secret because you can actually see my head. What’s secret about it is the reason behind the balding spots.

Anyway, most of them immediately conclude upon seeing my thin hair that I suffer from falling hair. I just agree with them. And then they recommend all sorts of hair gels, hot oils, scalp lotions, hair treatment processes, switching to a gentler shampoo, etc., to repair the problem. The funniest if not insulting conclusion is about dandruff. Dandruff is supposed to make hair fall because as the dandruff grows thicker on the scalp, the hair has less hold on its roots. Then the spiel about dandruff shampoos. There is also the advice on how to massage the shampoo on the scalp versus scratching the scalp while shampooing which aggravates the problems with the scalp and hair roots.

To the hair dresser who bothered to ask why my hair is damage, I tell the half-truth. That I shampoo twice a day, but it is only half the reason why my hair is brittle. And why my head has stumps and little stubby hair underneath the longer hair. Which leads to the advice that I can never seem to remember, that shampooing one’s hair is supposed to be done only twice a week or three times was it? Shampooing once a day is even disastrous for the hair and one must absolutely moisturize the hair at least once a week. And one must pat not rub the hair dry, do not brush or comb wet hair thoroughly, etc.

The color of my hair which is a dark brown is also attributed to the constant shampooing, damaging its supposed beautiful black color. Ah, well what am I suppose to say to that? That some members of my family have the same if not lighter hair color so why can’t I. No one would believe me. I just meekly say to the really nice man or lady with the sharp scissors and really big and broad hands some of them have, yes I will come back next week for the hair spa and meanwhile I will follow all your advice.

My family and some friends who know better think that if my mania will just be cured, then everything else will follow in the cure. The dry hair will become shiny again. The thin hair will become thick and the brittle hair will become strong again. And the premature white hair will stop growing until the right time for it to be on my head. My hair is on a protest for maltreatment, they say.

I am thinking that maybe the next time I am going to the hair salon which I must soon, I will tell the truth about my very bad habit. That way I could educate some hair salon worker who might become sensitive and perceptive enough in the future about this particular subject. It is said that people with this disease usually try to keep it a secret. They cover it with scarves, funky hair cuts, etc. But for the really extreme cases it can be. And when it can no longer be, some of my kind withdraws from the public. When it comes to that, I may just go bald and become the first bald female librarian. It might actually go well with a digital library.

My crowning glory for the moment to the rest of the public is not so glorious simply because of bad genes, as in tsk, tsk, tsk, maybe it is her genes to have thin hair. So the public will just have for the time being go on tut-tutting over my poor hair.

As for the cure maybe I am on the right track. Without knowing it, family and select friends have already made some sort of patrol as to where my hands are when I am with them. But then I am not with them 24/7. And then also some people look better bald.

Meanwhile I am fortifying myself. Or maybe I will give a seminar about this topic to all hair salon workers in exchange for a lifetime of free haircuts or until there are no more hair to bother with.